The Perfect Boot for Fall
November 16th, 2010
Kylie Minogue and a Mountain of Sexy People
August 31st, 2010
Kylie Minogue released a new album in July called Aphrodite. “All the Lovers” is the first single from the album and it’s a smooth danceable track. I just saw the video for it today and, like most Kylie videos, it’s subtle, sexy, and just a little gay. There’s also a horse, just to make things weird.
“All the Lovers” – Kylie Minogue
Aphrodite is an uplifting dance pop album. “All the Lovers,” “Get Outta My Way,” “Put Your Hands Up,” and “Too Much” are all standout tracks. I’ve found these songs have a good tempo when I go walking. There is also some great material here for remixes, so I can’t wait for those to hit. At only 5 bones, this is a steal.
Price: $5.00
Rating: 
(3.5 out of 5)
Lesbian from Rockford, IL to be America’s Next Top Model?
August 26th, 2010
Rockford represent!
It’s not often a dyke from my neck of the woods hits the mainstream. According to the show’s website, Kayla (no last name given) is a 19-year-old Hooters waitress from Rockford, Illinois. She’s 5’9″ and used to play soccer. She said her favorite designer is Stella McCartney, her favorite shoes are high heels, and she would never wear overalls.
“Being the openly gay girl in the house, I was afraid of how the others would receive me,” Kayla said in an Us magazine feature (source: Jezebel).
In her contestant interview video Kayla said she has done small runway shows at nightclubs in Chicago. I have apparently not been going to the right nightclubs. Mine are filled with bull dykes and drag queens–none of which look as good as Kayla.
The season premier of America’s Next Top Model airs Wed., Sept. 8 at 8:00 PM EST / 7:00 PM CST.
Addiction, You Say?
July 24th, 2010
So…I like belts. It’s no secret. You know how it is when you just go with your impulses and don’t stop to take inventory of what you already have? Well, that’s what happened here:
Belts! Belts! Belts!
I have actually been late to work because I couldn’t decide which belt to wear. “Should I go with the black or break it up with the gray? Or contrast with the white? Oh my god, it’s 9:00! I’m late!” ”Okay, gray. No, no….black. But the white…. Crap! It’s 9:15!” I’m not proud, but it’s happened.
I’m putting myself on belt probation.
Well, with one exception. I need a non-black canvas belt, either tan or olive. But that’s it! I swear!
What Not to Wear? These Shoes.
May 30th, 2010
Simple Carwalk, PiperLime
What is this? What is going on here? There are plenty of nice looking desert boots out there (see: Cole Haan). You do not need to waste your money on this I’m-Trying-Too-Hard-To-Be-Casual flannel “shoe” crap. I bet those poor sheep would be ashamed to see that their hard-grown wool was made into this epic failure. If I had a choice between walking across muddy fields full of jagged rocks in these Fargo flippers or barefooted–bring on the ringworm!
A Denim Wash Gone Wrong
March 13th, 2010
Okay, this post breaks my heart a little. I love Guess. Love their clothes, shoes, watches, sunglasses…love it all. But seriously, what were they thinking with this denim wash?
Guess Falcon Bootcut Jean Cavern Wash - $58.80
“Cavern Wash” indeed. That’s one cavern I don’t want to go anywhere near. It looks like this guy took a dump in his pants and then rocked back and forth in it.
I guess (har, har) these jeans are nearly half off for good reason. Nobody likes a party pooper!
Let’s Vajazzle!
February 27th, 2010
This is why I love the internet. Below is a spa that offers vajazzling–bedazzling of the vagina. Yes, yes. Vajazzling.
Source: I Got Vajazzled (and had a camera crew)
Thank god for HD video. So what do you think? Would you get vajazzled? I, for one, would much prefer to be buttjazzled. Jewels in the crack…holla!
Five Fingers
December 15th, 2009
Whoa! Back the innuendo train up! I’m not going where you think I’m going with this. This entry is about shoes! With fingers! Well, toes, actually.
I really did not think I would live to see anything more creeptacular than toe socks, but damn if the internet does not manage to get creepier every day. So here it is…toe shoes!
Vibram Five Fingers, $170, Amazon
So gross! Just think of how these must smell after a run when your feet are all sweaty and hot and slimy. Yuck!
Now, I know I’m going to see a gaggle of sporty dykes waddling around in these ridiculous feet gloves by next summer. “They’re so practical!” they’ll all squeal.
Yes, if by practical you mean a sucker punch to my libido.
Holy Dyke Boots, Batman!
September 9th, 2009
What’s That Smell?: A Guide to Natural Deodorants
August 1st, 2009
Disclaimer: This study is entirely unscientific.
I have been trying to to find an natural deodorant to inhibit my perspiration while upholding my ethics.
Why do I want to switch? Non-natural deodorants contain aluminum which inhibits perspiration by blocking your sweat glands. Aluminum has been linked to Alzheimer’s and other brain disorders, and is a possible risk factor in cancer. (Some people are also allergic to aluminum). Since I am rubbing this stuff on a delicate area of my skin every day, I want to be sure that I’m not slowly poisoning myself.
I devised an experiment where I pit (get it?) 4 different natural deodorants against 1 non-organic control, Axe Dry. Here is what I discovered:
Axe Dry – Essence (The Non-Natural Control)
$5.00, Drugstore.com
Axe smells refreshing and cool, like a butch deodorant should. It goes on smooth and clear. In an 8-hour workday test of both desk work and physical work, Axe lasts about the entire day. I’ve noticed that even if I perspire, the scent is strong enough to mask much of my natural pit odor. If I were a spy being interrogated, I would want to be wearing Axe Dry. (Axe performs so well because it contains 17% aluminum—among the highest concentrations available over-the-counter).
Nature’s Gate – Spring Fresh
$4.50, Amazon
This deodorant smells nice–sort of clean laundry meets tree bark. It goes on clear. In the 8-hour work day test, I was moisture-free for between 4 to 6 hours depending on what I did at work (sitting at my desk, 6; moving boxes, 4). Now, I don’t know if it’s just the chemical makeup of my particular body odor, but when I sweat with this deodorant on, my armpits smelled like mildew. I was happy with this deodorant up until then and I would like to continue using it, but moldy pit smell is not okay. I would recommend this one, however, as the weird smell could just be due to my own sweat chemicals.
Toms of Maine Long Lasting Care – Apricot
$5.50, Amazon
I’m not crazy about the scents available from Tom’s of Maine. Out of Lavender, Lemongrass, and Apricot, ironically the fruit smelled the most butch. Toms glides on very smoothly, but my pits felt a little sticky after I put it on. During my 8-hour work day, I was dry for about 4 hours. I did notice some skin irritation (red, itchy areas) begin to develop after a few weeks of using Toms. Toms does have a deodorant for sensitive skin, so this might have alleviated the issue. However, Toms didn’t live up to its “Long Lasting” moniker.
Burt’s Bees for Men
$8.00, Drugstore.com
I have a lot of love for Burt and his bees, but this deodorant was the worst of the whole lot. It smells like citronella (I think they were going for patchouli). In the average work day test, I was moisture-free for only 3 hours. And do you know what happens when sweat and patchouli mix? That’s right. You smell like a dirty hippy. My pits were rancid. Worse, the smell escaped my pits and filled the nearby air. My girlfriend was walking next to me at the mall and said, “Jesus, you stink!” When I got home, I threw the stick in the trash. And then I cried because I just threw away $8 in a recession.
Herban Cowboy – Dusk
$8.00, Drugstore.com
One of the pricier alternatives, Herban Cowboy smells like leather and volcanic rock (in other words, the definition of BUTCH). The smell isn’t overwhelming, however. It glides on smooth and lasts around 7 hours of an average 8-hour work day. Herban Cowboy is also 100% vegan, so double karma points. After many months of trial and fail, I’ve finally found a winner! A natural deodorant that keeps me fresh and aluminum-free!